Fuck You Mike Brown

In my Patagonian notebook/journal or whatever you want to call it - that place where I write the names of all the boys I've kissed - I made an entry dated January 3rd, 2009 or to be exact there is a little 3:1:09 written in my hand at the bottom left of the page. I will write here for you EXACTLY what I wrote this day: 'damn - I'm becoming like a younger & much prettier Andy Rooney'. Then today, which is 21:1:09 I picked up SLUG to read Mike Brown's article which I try to do as often as possible since he started writing it in the late '90s after he had a zine where he dedicated an entire issue to me (only because the ass hole forgot to mention a thanks to me in his previous zine regardless of the fact that we were hanging out almost daily). Here I will quote for you EXACTLY what a portion of his article says: 'I know all of this hate filled rambling might lead some to believe that I am merely a young Andy Rooney of Salt Lake.' What a mind reading dick wad. HEAR THAT MIKE? Okay, you know I love you. But still... please get out of my head. I am a writer also and need my own material.

But recently I heard on Keith and the Girl (not all THAT recently) a whole comedy segment he did where he goes on a 30 minute diatribe about the futility of electric can openers. Seriously.